I have been divorced for 6 months, this was a big shocked to myself and everyone we knew since everyone says we are a match.
With no warning signs my husband gradually went cold on me ended up wanting a divorce.
Dosen't seem to involve another woman, he has a new job, seem to want something different in life, but then he is not so sure what he wants. He seems lost, said he still wants to be friends but he dosent seem to want to see me, but asks others about me.
Is there anyway I can draw him back to me, not only I still Love him, he is also father of our son.
I know nothing can change the reality, but will things get better for me? I know I must be positive for myself and my son, when will things become better. I dont need to be rich, drive expensive car, live in huge apartment. I just want my own family, have a good career, be able to enjoy life and help people. I dont think Im asking for too much.
I know it hard for you to accept this fact but you still need to accept this fact. If you fall like this then who will looking the child. You must stand up and not fall by now. You still have a child to take care, think again, you child more fragile then you. Some more, there is a lot of friends and family around you who still concern about you. Are you going to let everyone upset?
You child needs is future, it not a time to will minded, if you always like that then you child will also doing the same things. YOU ARE THE ONLY EXAMPLE for you child. So be strong and don't think too much.
Other may not not help you, ONLY YOU who can help yourself. Don't let Fate and Luck control you BUT you must control FATE and LUCK. Show the good example.
Listen to JackieLee - his advice is sound. You must focus on your son & building a new life for the both of you. If you do this, everything will come together to give you the best life & the life you need & want. The turbulance is in the life of your ex husband and that choas has spread to cause trouble in the lives around him. The turbulance is like the water in a glass - he has dropped the glass and everyone near him has gotten splalshed with water & broken glass.
I am trying to get back on my feet, but being a single mother is really tough. Each time I think I am back on my feet something makes me fall down again. When can things work out better for me, I am very tired.
This is your mind problems, it didn't involve in any Chinese Metaphysics. You will telling you I'm to hard to stand up but better rely on a person. You see your name "bearbearmum", how you fit this name, have you ever though that the bear you using is how strong. A bear will not give up finding the food for themselves, even though it will bring food for their cubs.
The last post, I read, I was totally upset. TOTALLY... I seeing you finding excuse to yourself only. Everyday this kind of cases is happening every corner of the worlds. Some even worst then you, they all lost their another partner. Like my mother, she lost her husband, my father. At that time, she no job and work as housewife, after my father pass away. She don't know what to do, only left me and my little sister. Who supporting us, no one but my mum. My father has last wishes, hope me able to study higher. So she want to fulfill my father last wish and she asking around to borrow money.
At last, we able to find money and I graduate now. Look how fragile my mum is, I ask her before, why you can be that strong? She replied who told you Dad leave us so fast, who told me need to fulfill my Dad last wishes, who told your Dad is not rich, and if I not strong enough to support you and my sis, WHO WILL SUPPORT MY CHILD? I quiet and my mind blank. This story is to tell you, not just you facing this problems only, around the world still have this happen happening. I hope you get what I mean.
You know something, gautam, this is his will and mindset problems. Bazi will tell you this problems and almost everything. The only things is lied on herself, whether WANT or DON'T WANT. This is her mindset and will. That the reason, I've insist using CM to help. This is Human Factors.
Human is fragile, if you unable to withstand yourself how you going to leave. The biggest enemy is not other but you, yourself.
People here know this is hard, but we know you are strong & we believe in you. You have more strength than you know. Take one day as it comes and then the next. Each day will get easier. If possible, live with family as they will be a great source of support & strength.
We all wish the best for you.
I truly understand how u r feeling now & sympathize with u. It's very often easily said than done,in other words- Talk is easy to tell someone not to think about the breakage. Only inhuman can do this overnight. I believe bearbearmum is one pure healthy, warm-blooded, loving mum/broken hearted wife, being left with no answers and directions to go. Dont jus keep telling someone like her to the impossible. She needs time to heal. Jus go straight to the point and tell her what she must & can do.
To bearbearmum, sad to say this, but I really dont believe there's no 3rd person coming in between u & yr ex. Acknowledge & face reality. I am a man. How could one bear to leave someone who bore him a child & without properly address the problem personally like a man? Just lame excuses & act confused as he claimed he know not what he wants. He's too coward to tell u the truth or is he leaving a door open for himself return to u jus in case his new relation doesn't work out?
Trust me, bearbearmum, the pain will be with u, long as u live. Time doesnt really completely heal the pain; it jus only dampen it. So while now it is still excruciating to bear, focus more on yr child. Spend yr time planning and thinking of yr son's & yr own future. Learn some skills to enhance yr career opportnity because u need to feed yrself & the child. U need to look good & stay healthy, stay pretty & independant. Dont let yrself be alone at home & have too much free time to think about this misfortune. When u look great, u have better self-confidence, yr mind is clear, u think better. Employer will look at u before they would hire u. Face it, u need $$ to survive. Once u get a job, u will hv less time thinking of the sad affair. Dont share yr personal problems with anyone or everyone u meet for u know not who these people are.Some might take this opportunity to make use of u or harm u. Unless they r yr family & close friends.
Learn cooking or making pastry. Learn to do thing together with yr child, be it singing, reading a book, learning another language. Learn some softwares like Excel, Access, Photoshop. Whatever u do, dont allow yrself to have too much free time. Of all u know, once u have completed most of these, u will be surprised to realize how strong u r. Jus that u hv never been put to the test. U will come up to be a better person. By then, u call the shots! Yr ex has not given yr son a chance; u dont need to be like him so heartless.Yr son needs u. Be fair to him. I wish u the best of luck in yr next life journey with yr lovely son.